I Love This Woman!
ACTUALLY, 'JUDICIAL ACTIVISM' MEANS 'E=mc2'
by Ann CoulterSeptember 14, 2005
Democrats are so excited about Hurricane Katrina, they're thinking of moving "Camp Casey" to an area outside the National Weather Service. What they haven't figured out yet is how Richard Perle and the "neocons" cooked up a hurricane that targeted only black people. Meanwhile, rescuers in New Orleans have discovered a lower-than-expected 424 dead bodies or, as they're known to liberals, "registered Democratic voters."
In liberals' defense, they've got a better shot at convincing Americans that Bush is responsible for a hurricane than convincing them that John Kerry was fit to be commander in chief. Compared to Kerry, Katrina is a blowhard they can work with.
by Ann CoulterSeptember 14, 2005
Democrats are so excited about Hurricane Katrina, they're thinking of moving "Camp Casey" to an area outside the National Weather Service. What they haven't figured out yet is how Richard Perle and the "neocons" cooked up a hurricane that targeted only black people. Meanwhile, rescuers in New Orleans have discovered a lower-than-expected 424 dead bodies or, as they're known to liberals, "registered Democratic voters."
In liberals' defense, they've got a better shot at convincing Americans that Bush is responsible for a hurricane than convincing them that John Kerry was fit to be commander in chief. Compared to Kerry, Katrina is a blowhard they can work with.
posted by BigBubba at 11:39 AM
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10 Comments:
Erratum to Ann's column...
Preface "registered Democratic voters" with "Newly"
-FJ
mr. ducky,
Steve sounds like a very good husbandmen, and even THEY are getting harder and harder to find these days. Nice piece.
-FJ
Aristophanes, "Peace" (Chorus of Husbandmen)
"HERMES. Off to the Devil with you, Megarians! The goddess (Peace) hates you. She recollects that you were the first to rub her the wrong way. Athenians, you are not well placed for pulling. There you are too busy with law-suits; if you really want to free the goddess, get down a little towards the sea.
CHORUS. Come, friends, none but husbandmen on the rope.
HERMES. Ah! that will do ever so much better.
CHORUS. He says the thing is going well. Come, all of you, together and with a will.
TRYGAEUS. 'Tis the husbandmen who are doing all the work.
CHORUS. Come then, come, and all together! Hah! hah! at last there is some unanimity in the work. Don't let us give up, let us redouble our efforts. There! now we have it! Come then, all together! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! All together! (_Peace is drawn out of the pit._)
TRYGAEUS. Oh! venerated goddess, who givest us our grapes, where am I to find the ten-thousand-gallon words wherewith to greet thee? I have one such at home. Oh! hail to thee, Opora, and thou, Theoria!
How beautiful is thy face! How sweet thy breath! What gentle fragrance comes from thy bosom, gentle as freedom from military duty, as the most dainty perfumes!
HERMES. Is it then a smell like a soldier's knapsack?
CHORUS. Oh! hateful soldier! your hideous satchel makes me sick! it
stinks like the belching of onions, whereas this lovable deity has the odour of sweet fruits, of festivals, of the Dionysia, of the harmony of flutes, of the comic poets, of the verses of Sophocles, of the phrases of Euripides...
TRYGAEUS. That's a foul calumny, you wretch! She detests that framer of subtleties and quibbles.
CHORUS. ... of ivy, of straining-bags for wine, of bleating ewes, of
provision-laden women hastening to the kitchen, of the tipsy servant
wench, of the upturned wine-jar, and of a whole heap of other good
things.
HERMES. Then look how the reconciled towns chat pleasantly together, how they laugh; and yet they are all cruelly mishandled; their wounds are bleeding still.
TRYGAEUS. But let us also scan the mien of the spectators; we shall thus find out the trade of each.
HERMES. Ah! good gods! look at that poor crest-maker, tearing at his hair, and at that pike-maker, who has just broken wind in yon
sword-cutler's face.
TRYGAEUS. And do you see with what pleasure this sickle-maker is making long noses at the spear-maker?
HERMES. Now ask the husbandmen to be off.
TRYGAEUS. Listen, good folk! Let the husbandmen take their farming tools and return to their fields as quick as possible, but without either sword, spear or javelin. All is as quiet as if Peace had been reigning for a century. Come, let everyone go till the earth, singing the Paean.
CHORUS. Oh, thou, whom men of standing desired and who art good to husbandmen, I have gazed upon thee with delight; and now I go to greet my vines, to caress after so long an absence the fig trees I planted in my youth.
TRYGAEUS. Friends, let us first adore the goddess, who has delivered us from crests and Gorgons; then let us hurry to our farms, having first bought a nice little piece of salt fish to eat in the fields.
HERMES. By Posidon! what a fine crew they make and dense as the crust of a cake; they are as nimble as guests on their way to a feast.
TRYGAEUS. See, how their iron spades glitter and how beautifully their three-pronged mattocks glisten in the sun! How regularly they will align the plants! I also burn myself to go into the country and to turn over the earth I have so long neglected.--Friends, do you remember the happy life that peace afforded us formerly; can you recall the splendid baskets
of figs, both fresh and dried, the myrtles, the sweet wine, the violets blooming near the spring, and the olives, for which we have wept so much? Worship, adore the goddess for restoring you so many blessings.
CHORUS. Hail! hail! thou beloved divinity! thy return overwhelms us with joy. When far from thee, my ardent wish to see my fields again made me pine with regret. From thee came all blessings. Oh! much desired Peace! thou art the sole support of those who spend their lives tilling the earth. Under thy rule we had a thousand delicious enjoyments at our beck; thou wert the husbandman's wheaten cake and his safeguard. So that our vineyards, our young fig-tree woods and all our plantations hail thee with delight and smile at thy coming. But where was she then, I wonder, all the long time she spent away from us? Hermes, thou benevolent god, tell us!
HERMES. Wise husbandmen, hearken to my words, if you want to know why she was lost to you. The start of our misfortunes was the exile of
Phidias; Pericles feared he might share his ill-luck, he mistrusted
your peevish nature and, to prevent all danger to himself, he threw out that little spark, the Megarian decree, set the city aflame, and blew up the conflagration with a hurricane of war, so that the smoke drew tears from all Greeks both here and over there. At the very outset of this fire our vines were a-crackle, our casks knocked together; it was beyond the power of any man to stop the disaster, and Peace disappeared.
TRYGAEUS. That, by Apollo! is what no one ever told me; I could not think what connection there could be between Phidias and Peace.
CHORUS. Nor I; I know it now. This accounts for her beauty, if she is
related to him. There are so many things that escape us.
HERMES. Then, when the towns subject to you saw that you were angered one against the other and were showing each other your teeth like dogs, they hatched a thousand plots to pay you no more dues and gained over the chief citizens of Sparta at the price of gold. They, being as shamelessly greedy as they were faithless in diplomacy, chased off Peace with ignominy to let loose War. Though this was profitable to them, 'twas the ruin of the husbandmen, who were innocent of all blame; for, in revenge, your galleys went out to devour their figs.
TRYGAEUS. And 'twas with justice too; did they not break down my black fig tree, which I had planted and dunged with my own hands?
CHORUS. Yes, by Zeus! yes, 'twas well done; the wretches broke a chest for me with stones, which held six medimni of corn.
HERMES. Then the rural labourers flocked into the city and let
themselves be bought over like the others. Not having even a grape-stone to munch and longing after their figs, they looked towards the
orators. These well knew that the poor were driven to extremity and
lacked even bread; but they nevertheless drove away the Goddess each time she reappeared in answer to the wish of the country with their loud shrieks, that were as sharp as pitchforks; furthermore, they attacked the
well-filled purses of the richest among our allies on the pretence that they belonged to Brasidas' party. And then you would tear the poor accused wretch to pieces with your teeth; for the city, all pale with hunger and cowed with terror, gladly snapped up any calumny that was thrown it to devour. So the strangers, seeing what terrible blows the informers dealt, sealed their lips with gold. They grew rich, while you, alas! you could only see that Greece was going to ruin. 'Twas the tanner who was the author of all this woe.
TRYGAEUS. Enough said, Hermes, leave that man in Hades, whither he has gone; he no longer belongs to us, but rather to yourself. That he was a cheat, a braggart, a calumniator when alive, why, nothing could be truer; but anything you might say now would be an insult to one of your own folk. Oh! venerated Goddess! why art thou silent?
HERMES. And how could she speak to the spectators? She is too angry at
all that they have made her suffer.
TRYGAEUS. At least let her speak a little to you, Hermes.
HERMES. Tell me, my dear, what are your feelings with regard to them?
Come, you relentless foe of all bucklers, speak; I am listening to you. (_Peace whispers into Hermes' ear._) Is that your grievance against them? Yes, yes, I understand. Hearken, you folk, this is her complaint. She
says, that after the affair of Pylos she came to you unbidden to
bring you a basket full of truces and that you thrice repulsed her by
your votes in the assembly.
TRYGAEUS. Yes, we did wrong, but forgive us, for our mind was then
entirely absorbed in leather.
HERMES. Listen again to what she has just asked me. Who was her greatest foe here? and furthermore, had she a friend who exerted himself to put an end to the fighting?
TRYGAEUS. Her most devoted friend was Cleonymus; it is undisputed.
HERMES. How then did Cleonymus behave in fights?
TRYGAEUS. Oh! the bravest of warriors! Only he was not born of the father he claims; he showed it quick enough in the army by throwing away his weapons.
HERMES. There is yet another question she has just put to me. Who rules now in the rostrum?
TRYGAEUS. 'Tis Hyperbolus, who now holds empire on the Pnyx. (_To
Peace._) What now? you turn away your head!
HERMES. She is vexed, that the people should give themselves a wretch of that kind for their chief.
TRYGAEUS Oh! we shall not employ him again; but the people, seeing
themselves without a leader, took him haphazard, just as a man, who is naked, springs upon the first cloak he sees.
HERMES. She asks, what will be the result of such a choice of the city?
TRYGAEUS. We shall be more far-seeing in consequence.
HERMES. And why?
TRYGAEUS. Because he is a lamp-maker. Formerly we only directed our business by groping in the dark; now we shall only deliberate by lamplight.
HERMES. Oh! oh! what questions she does order me to put to you!
TRYGAEUS. What are they?
HERMES. She wants to have news of a whole heap of old-fashioned things she left here. First of all, how is Sophocles?
TRYGAEUS. Very well; but something very strange has happened to him.
HERMES. What then?
TRYGAEUS. He has turned from Sophocles into Simonides.
HERMES. Into Simonides? How so?
TRYGAEUS. Because, though old and broken-down as he is, he would put to sea on a hurdle to gain an obolus.
HERMES. And wise Cratinus, is he still alive?
TRYGAEUS. He died about the time of the Laconian invasion.
HERMES. How?
TRYGAEUS. Of a swoon. He could not bear the shock of seeing one of his
casks full of wine broken. Ah! what a number of other misfortunes our city has suffered! So, dearest mistress, nothing can now separate us from thee.
HERMES. If that be so, receive Opora here for a wife; take her to the country, live with her, and grow fine grapes together.
TRYGAEUS. Come, my dear friend, come and accept my kisses. Tell me,
Hermes, my master, do you think it would hurt me to fuck her a little,
after so long an abstinence?
HERMES. No, not if you swallow a potion of penny-royal afterwards. But hasten to lead Theoria to the Senate; 'twas there she lodged
before.
TRYGAEUS. Oh! fortunate Senate! Thanks to Theoria, what soups you will swallow for the space of three days! how you will devour meats and cooked tripe! Come, farewell, friend Hermes!
HERMES. And to you also, my dear sir, may you have much happiness, and don't forget me.
TRYGAEUS. Come, beetle, home, home, and let us fly on a swift wing.
HERMES. Oh! he is no longer here."
-FJ
She's too fat, she's too fat, she's too fat for me....
Perhaps Mnsr La Duque could do me the reciprocal favor of analysing this Dali painting Dali Gallery entitled "Atavism at Twighlight."
-FJ
Samwich, sometimes your insanity leaves me speechless. What article about Jos. Smith did I post, when and where? I haven't mentioned Mormons, or their magic garmies, in quite some time. Perhaps you have your magic garmies in a bunch and can't think straight?
Silver Duque,
I never thought this painting should "work" for you. Millet and the market economy. Yep, like many critics, you are definitely hopeless. Great Art is supposed to possess a timeless or universal quality. Your critical interpretation appears remarkably "surreal".
Do you fancy yourself something of a montage comprised of Baum's tinman, scarecrow, and lion, too? I do. Perhaps a few months living and working at the Gail Farm in Kansas might help cure and transform you. Provide you with a vision of Dorothy reclining on the Lions back worth willingly surrendering your heart to.
Perhaps I might now direct your attention to the space the sun shines through to where his heart once was. It's more readily distinguishable in his "shadow". And so he's something like Baum's tin man made flesh. But flesh is still a step up from the tin covered and hatted man of Baum's "red state" country dweller (As opposed to the "blue state" city dwellers of described in the silent film, "Metropolis") for his means suit and conjoin with his woman's means to accomodate and harmonize certain ends for both. She must have stolen his heart somehow.
Unfortunately, no one has yet written any equations describing the effects of love with the rational certainty with which they have defined and characterized gravity.
And unlike the mannequin in the previous Dali painting we discussed, this atavist has both ends and means. He might appear a little lame in the feet, like Hephaestus, but with his woman I suspect he's become rather tied to his means and the land and dares not walk too far from it.
Remarkably, your ideal seems to wish to create more Javanese mannequins, because the atavists means aren't "good enough" or "compatible" enough with your pie-in-the-sky ideals. But in fact, it looks like this atavist's ends have given his woman one of her own. It seems to have grown from her spine, not mind, though. Gee, you'd almost think they were made for one another. But this picture was developed at the twightlight of atavism. I wonder how atavism looked at noon. I know that since twilight has faded the government has redistributed this poor mans means, making his woman looks to her uncle, not him, as the means to her ends.
But then again, I only blinked at the painting. I'm not a "learned" interpretter of art like yourself. Just whistling.
-FJ
methinks Salvadore Dali was something of a "mental auroch" Auroch's. The monument to Aurochs @ Wikipedia bears a strange resemblance to certain Dali painting with soft liquidy clocks. I wonder what one of Plato's prisoners in a cave would hear if Dali ever came and sat down next to him. He'd seem like just another loon, because he's be telling nothing but cock & bull stories.
-FJ
Anyone who seeks to fix government services or administration would have to be nuts.
-FJ
Matthew 24:42-44 (King James Version) 42 Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come. 43 But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up. 44 Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.
Matthew 24:36 (King James Version) 36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Mark 13:32-33 (King James Version) 32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father. 33 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.
2 Peter 3:10 (King James Version) 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
1 Thessalonians 5:1-3 (King James Version) 1 But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. 2 For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. 3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
methinks BB is trying to convince you that the prophesy outlined in Revelations cannot be linked to any specific "universal" timetable, and although the sequence of events in Revelations may be true, the progression to the "next level" may not be absolute and coincident for everyone on the planet. For if the "part" is to be representative of the "whole", it must contain ALL of it's like elements. Each man must come to judgement. For G_d's time, unlike our own, is NOT linear. For time is a product of our universe, and He resides outside of it, Eternal.
I think that it is pretty obvious, Samwich, that the Bible tells us that we don't know when the Lord will come and that we should be ready for His return at anytime. Time spent on "end times prophecies" would be better spent elsewhere.
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